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After we arrived and got situated (there were about 15 women present, including the 2 facilitators), we got right down to business. Our first prompt was "what were you grateful for in 2008". Here's what I came up with:
-Spending time with my dad. A break from Portland winter. Trip to Death Valley.
-Lots of support from friends when I returned to Portland. Honest/hard friendship check-ins with Frannie. Lots of help moving. Finding a new home 2 days before having to be out of my apartment.
-early spring. community dinners. piano and dance lessons. friday afternoon/early evening walks. being present with myself through hard times.
-finding the farm. working in the garden all day and then stripping off my clothes and jumping into the murky pond. Laying on the dock afterwards, feeling the sun on my skin and watching the newts swim by.
-getting to spend lots of time outdoors and out of the city. getting to use my body. hearing katy humming in the garden. planting little baby leeks and brasicas and squash. picking raspberries every day. missing my friends. fresh cheese and yogurt. milking the goats.
- a glorious return to portland. spending my birthday with my mom. finding a fabulous new home. vancouver adventure. thanksgiving...
that's as far as i was able to get in the workshop. writing this list was a good reminder of how much there is to be grateful for (this list is only scratching the surface).
After we shared what we had written, Emily laid down some astrology for us. One of the biggest deals this year is the super conjunction of jupiter, neptune, and chiron in the sign of aquarius. this is a big deal because some of these planets move very slowly (it takes neptune about 160 years to make it through 1 solar rotation). so they don't end up in the same sign very often.
neptune is the slowest moving planet. it is connected to deep transformation on a collective level. i.e. finding ways to connect with other in your healing work and remembering that we are all in this together. if someone is hurting, we all are hurting. neptune rules the invisible realm; all things having to do with dreams, spirit and illusion.
chiron is the planet of the wounded healer archetype. One who has to go through experiencing deep hurts, healing from them and then being able to help others in their healing process.
jupiter is the planet of expansion. it makes things bigger.
Aquarius also has a lot to do with group/community healing. finding connection and building support networks. again, that idea that we are all in this together.
What does all this mean? good question. I am complete novice when it comes to astrology and am doing my best to piece together my notes here. what this means is that there is a huge potential for healing this year ( the months of may, july and december are especially potent times for healing).
it is a year for confronting and healing the illusions we all have. neptune rules freedom and democracy so this is a time when we as americans are having to question what freedom and democracy look like. neptune also rules addiction so there is a huge potential to heal our addictions (but first we must recognize them).
after explaining this to group, emily invited us to do some writing about where we are wounded. this is what i came up with:
My wounds are around food stuff. Binging and then hating on myself. Using food as a way to feel in or out of control. Being hard on myself. Not respecting where i'm at. Knowing that certain foods make me sick and eating them anyways. Recognizing that our entire society has an eating disorder.
Patterns of isolation. Being a part of a fabulous community and listening to voices that tell me that I am less sparkly, creative, productive, lovable, hot, politically active/aware, articulate, intelligent... than my friends.
sexual identity. not wanting to identify as a victim. i am a survivor. working through mild depression/dysthemia. low self esteem. seeing through the illusion that i am not doing enough or where i should be.
questioning decisions i have already made. second guessing myself. giving away my power. indecisiveness. people pleasing. needing validation. trying to create space for all the different parts of me, with myself, with my family, in my home and in my relationships with other people.
I totally cried while I was reading this to the group. I mean obviously there is some heavy shit in here and some of this stuff i have been dealing with/working through for a really long time.
after that, we were given the prompt to write our healing story, to envision our healed self.
In 2009, I am cultivating patience and flexibility. In 2009 I am getting bigger and bigger. Learning to embrace awkward moments. My light is getting brighter and I am able to fully enjoy where I am at. Appreciate my friends and amazing support network. I know that the universe wants me succeed.
In 2009 I am dancing. I am laughing. I am full of life. I am full of ideas. Full of myself. I enjoy/appreciate what I put in my body and who I surround myself with. My life moves at a pace that is comfortable and exhilarating. I remember to take breaks, take walks, take time for myself. I have an infinite well of energy.
I involve myself in things that I am passionate about. Creative expression and exploration. I am playful and curious. I am having fun. Traveling. Spending time with my family. Letting them see all of me. Letting my guards down. Being vulnerable. Falling in love with the world around me. Recognizing how important I am. Letting my dreams unfold before me. Feeling sexy/wanted/confident.
In 2009 I am fully coming into my power. I am not holding back. I am not saying sorry. Connecting personal healing work to larger struggles. Continuing on the path of discovering who I am and trying to be a little (okay, a lot) less serious about the whole thing. Letting the universe support me. Letting go of the idea that I have to do all of this alone. Recognizing and celebrating all the hard work I have done and all the progress I have made.
After sharing our healing stories, Emily talked some more about astrological highlights of 2009. She talked about the Saturn/Uranus opposition. This means that Saturn and Uranus are directly opposite each other.
Saturn represents the past, old, status quo, structures, conservatism, slowness, things that are firmly set, things that don't change easily.
Uranus stands for revolution, its the planet of the people, liberation, freedom, rebellion, the future, innovation, technology, science.
Other periods of recent history when this opposition happened were the mid-1960s and the late 1920s. This opposition started on November 4th (aka election day). This coming November, Pluto will join the party. Pluto represents the death and rebirth process. The last time Pluto and Saturn were in this position was around September 11th, 2001. So you can imagine that things might get intense.
So, according to Emily, the big question in the next couple of years is; Will humanity take back its power? Will we/I/you take back our power? There is a huge potential for revolution here but there is no telling which way its going to go.
We spent the next writing time answering the question, "Where in your own life do you want to liberate yourself?"
After we shared these stories, we took a break and then reconvened with enough time to write a letter to our future selves. The facilitators collected these letters and are going to send them to us sometime in the coming year.
A few more astrological announcements:
Mercury is in retrograde right now (and will be until January 31st). This means that Mercury appears to be traveling backwards. Life is meant to slow down during this time and you might notice that computers, cars and electronics are more likely to break down. Miscommunication and misunderstandings are more likely to happen. Frustration and fatigue are common symptoms of mercury in retrograde.
What can you do during this time?
-slow down. rest. relax. reflect.
-reorganize. reread. rewrite. (basically all re- words)
-back up computer data!
-do research. prepare for new projects.
-resolve issues from past. reconnect with old friends.
-allow extra time to get places, double check details.
-check-in frequently with others to clarify communication
-have a sense of humor and be patient.
What not to do?
-Initiate new projects
-make major purchases (esp. cars or electronics)
- Sign contracts or file lawsuits
-make decisions with long term consequences
-start new relationships or partnerships
This information was taken from a flyer that Emily handed out at the workshop. For more information about her and her astrological expertise, check out her website; www.portland-astrology.com.
Also a heads up that we are entering eclipse season. There will be a solar eclipse (in aquarius) on January 25th and a lunar eclipse on February 9th (in leo).
A solar eclipse is essentially a super-powerful new moon, where we plant seeds for not only the coming month, but the next 6 months and even the next 19 years. Its time to set intentions and move new projects into motion.
A lunar eclipse is a very powerful full moon. Results of past actions come to fruition. We have the opportunity for major breakthroughs, emotional release and new perspectives.
So there you have it, everything you ever wanted to know and more about my goals for the year ahead. Thanks again to Emily for sharing her amazing astrological knowledge and skills. Attending the workshop last weekend was very powerful and inspiring.
