thrill the world 2008

Yesterday my friend Nickey (pictured above) and I woke up early, got dolled up as the undead and rode our bikes to the Rose City Rollers Hangar at Oak's Park. We used cornstarch to give us the look of the dead complexion, lots of black eyeshadow for the "we haven't slept in a thousand years" (because we're dead) eyes and a mixture of corn syrup and red food coloring for the "i've been eating brains all day" fake blood. 

We cruised down the east bank esplanade, argh-raring at all the saturday morning joggers and cyclists we could. (Our responses were varied, some folks laughed, some rolled their eyes, some seemed oblivious to the fact that zombies had taken over the Springwater Corridor, and some even rarred right back at us..).

We arrived at Oak's Park just in time to do one final practice run of the thriller dance before the real deal. After we registered, one of the organizers had us get into our positions for the dance. "Just remember," she yelled, "you will be dancing with thousands of people all over the world." 

This event was part of an international movement called Thrill the World. Apparently some woman from Toronto decided she wanted to learn the thriller dance. Then she decided that she wanted to teach it to as many people as possible. Then she decided to try and beat the Guinness Book of World Records for the number of people doing the thriller dance at the same time. For more information, go to www.thrilltheworld.com.

All dancers and audience members paid $5. The event was a benefit for the Sexual Minority Youth Resource Center (SMYRC). The actual dance is 6 minutes long. We started at 11am, the event was over by 11:15.

To see a video of me doing the dance, go to www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohXO10kv6rw. I am the 3rd zombie from the right. This event happens every year, in cities all over the world. The dance is really fun (and surprisingly easy) to learn. I encourage anyone that has a little bit of zombie dancer in them to try it out.

7 Things You Should Know About Me.

So my dear friend Carrot tagged me. What does this mean? That I am going to tell you 7 random things about myself and then I have to tag 7 other people who have blogs to do the same... Here are my fun facts about me, more details at the end...

1. When I was little, like 6 or 7, my mom made me go to manners class, which was the modern day version of a cotillion, which she had to go to as a kid. We didn't really have to dance with each other, from what I remember. But we did have to practice things like using formal dinnerware and answering the phone. If our parents weren't home, we learned how to lie and say that they were, so that no creepy adults would act on the opportunity of abducting an unsupervised child. I remember being really embarrassed because when we were practicing what to say, I accidentally said that my parents weren't home. It was one of those moments when my face got really red and everyone went "ooooooh." For the graduation we had to dress up real fancy like and do some weird step/dance thing while some adult person introduced us. I remember that I said I wanted to be a princess, or a queen when I grew up. And when the adult person read that part about me, all the adults laughed.

2. I have lived in all of the states that start with a "c". I was born in Colorado. We moved to California when I was three. And then we moved to Connecticut during the summer before 5th grade started. We did move again, in the middle of my eighth grade year, to Sioux Falls, South Dakota. I ended up moving back to California when I was 17 to go to college at the University of California at Santa Cruz. I have been living in Portland for 5 years. 

3. I have an Eloise tattoo on my right leg and "you are here" written on my chest, surrounded by several stars.

4. My middle name is Mattie, after my great-grandmother. My cousins and I all called her  Nanymama. She was born and raised in rural Tennessee and lived in Atlanta, Georgia most of her adult life. She lived to be 103 years old.

5. This weekend I am going to be participating in "Thrill the World". What is thrill the world, you ask? Well this woman from Canada decided she wanted to teach herself the dance from the Michael Jackson video, "Thriller". Then she decided she wanted to try and beat the Guinness Book of World Records for the most people doing the same dance at the same time. If you go to www.thrilltheworld.com you can learn more about the event and see the videos she has made of herself teaching the dance. People from all over the world will be participating in this year's event, which will be happening this Saturday. The Portland chapter of Thrill the World organizers have been working hard to recruit as many zombies as possible. The event is at the Rose City Rollers Hangar at Oak's Park.  It starts at 11am (the dance is only 6 minutes long) and costs $5. All proceeds go to SMYRC, the Sexual Minority Youth Resource Center. 

6. I had an all female radio show in college called "happy and bleeding". I got the name from a P.J. Harvey song. I also co-hosted an indie rock show called "left of the dial" with my friend Joe. For one hot minute I was helping my friend Cody out with his talk show, "Workers' Power" but I got in trouble for playing a song with swear words in it.

7. In 9th grade I got kicked out of advanced English class for calling my teacher, Ms. Haar, Ms. Whore. I didn't think she heard me, but she did. I tried the old classic of just claiming she had heard me wrong, but one of my classmates, whom I was trying to impress in the first place, told the vice principal that I had most definitely said what she thought I said. 

So I actually have decided not to tag anyone else. I know, its kind of cheating but I am still somewhat new to this blog thing and don't have many blogging friends (that I know of), besides Carrot, who tagged me. And I dont really want to tag folks I don't know... at the moment. Maybe later...

Climbing PoeTree's Hurricane Season

 "Are you ready to have your mind blown?" Frannie asked me. I didn't quite know what to say. 

"I guess so. Or else I wouldn't be here." Honestly, I really had no idea what I was getting myself into. I had shown up to this Wednesday evening performance at the Pacific Northwest College of Art because a friend strongly recommended I go. Because it was free. Because I was curious. 

The day of the show, I had almost talked myself out of going. I was feeling like I might be getting sick (a common reason why I talk myself out of doing things) and it was a school night. Also I have just been super busy lately and a night at home has become a rare occurrence. But I had made it there regardless. Driving straight from a chiropractor's appointment where I had the muscles in my jaw massaged until I cried, I made it. 

When I got inside my friends had saved me a spot in the second row (bless their dear hearts). I felt pretty overwhelmed at first. A lot of people I knew were there and I was in a weird space. A weird, I'm not quite sure what to say to anyone space. I sat down and ate my $6 cup of roasted pumpkin soup from the restaurant next door. It was expensive, but it sure was good.

Getting some food in my belly helped me feel grounded and gave me a chance to just sit and absorb my surroundings. The stage set-up was elaborate built mostly out of bamboo with a rather large white screen in the center. There were photographs on either side of the screen, one of someone jumping through the air. Another of a woman with a butterfly over her mouth (note: the photographs were taken by Layla Love).

Shortly after 7, Alixa and Naima (the 2 fabulous women that make up Climbing Poe Tree) came on stage and introduced themselves. I was immediately impressed by how down to earth they seemed. They also both seemed really positive and genuinely excited, but not nervous or anxious. They thanked everyone for coming and talked a little bit about the performance. 

Their show, Hurricane Season: The Hidden Messages of Water, is described on their website (www.hurricaneseasontour.com) as "a 2 womyn show about unnatural disaster and a great shift in universal consciousness... The Hidden Messages in Water interweaves spoken word poetry, sound collage, shadow art, dance, film and animation to explore critical issues facing humanity through the kaleidoscope of Hurricane Katrina and its aftermath."

In their introduction, Alixa talked about the powerful oak trees that survived the storm on the gulf coast. How did they do it? By spreading their roots far and wide, and interlocking with other oak trees in the area. "You can't bring down a thousand oak trees bound beneath the soil". Part of the mission of the Hurricane Season tour is to connect and inspire other oak trees to come together and resist injustice.

Alixa and Naima left the stage to get ready for their performance. While they were getting ready, Sallome Hralima came on stage to introduce herself and go over some of the logistics of the show. Sallome is another Brooklynite on tour with Alixa and Naimi, traveling around the country in a somewhat run-down white van run on vegetable oil. She gave a brief rundown of the timeline for the performance, reminded everyone to turn off their cell phones, and encouraged the audience to make a lot of noise during the performance so Alixa and Naima wouldn't feel like they were alone in their practice space, rehearsing. 

The first hour of Hurricane Season goes back and forth between audio clips of Katrina survivors, video footage interspersed with collage-style animation, and several spoken word pieces performed by Alixa and Naima. 

The material they are presenting is nothing short of devastating, addressing not only Hurricane Katrina and its aftermath, but issues surrounding global warming, environmental injustice, gentrification, and over-consumption as well. Although this part of the performance is heavy to say the least, the amount of passion and energy that Alixa and Naima have when they are on stage together is totally inspiring, even when they are pointing out how the human race and the planet earth are entering in a time of "unnatural disaster".

After about an hour, the first half of the show concluded and they decided to give us a break. The lights turned on and the audience was encouraged to do whatever we needed in the next 10 minutes to take care of ourselves. The energy in the room had totally shifted. I was pretty much speechless. After spending a few moments just being held by my friends, I decided to go to the bathroom. 

The person I was next to in line was totally in tears. There was an incredibly awkward moment where were the only 2 people in the room (besides the 2 folks in the stalls) and I wish I would have offered her a hand or a hug. Even though I have done a decent amount of work on honoring my feelings, and have also done my fair share of crying in public spaces, I was taken aback by how uncomfortable I felt by this person's uncandid display of emotion, mainly because I was having my own emotional response to the piece and I didn't quite know how to reach out to this perfect stranger.

After intermission, Sallome facilitated what climbing poetree has deemed the solution-cipher portion of the performance, where they invite a handful of activists from the city the performance is happening in to come up on stage and talk about the work they are doing in the community and what the audience can do to help. There were 4 people on stage, representing local organizations including the Global Family Network (www.globalfam.org), Outside In (outsidein.org) and OPAL (Organizing People, Activating Leaders, www.opalpdx.org). The idea behind the solution cipher is to give folks examples of ways to get involved with local organizations that are doing work directly involving the issues brought up in the first part of the performance. 

After the solution-cipher, there was another 45 minutes of video, dance and spoken word. The theme of this portion of the show seemed to be on the power of transformation and liberation. We may be in an extremely dark time of history, but this should only inspire us more to find our own unique passions/gifts/drive and share it with the world. "We are all here for a reason." "There is no place where love cannot find you." These are two lines that were repeated during this portion of the performance. 

They also used images and audio clips based on Masaru Emoto's Hidden Messages of Water. Dr. Emoto's work involves documenting the formation of water crystals on frozen water that is exposed to different messages. Check out his book, The Hidden Messages of Water, or www.whatthebleep.com/crystals for more information about this. Basically, water that was "exposed" to positive messages (i.e. I love you, you're beautiful, etc.) formed completely different crystals than samples that were exposed to negative messages (i hate you, you make me sick, etc.) which sometimes didn't even form crystals at all. 

Okay, I know that this is whoo to the nth degree, but cynical judgements aside (which are usually, in my personal experience, a sign of fear in accepting new information, yet important to notice) this shit is pretty amazing. please look at the pictures before you make any final decisions. 

And on a continued side note: I often have a hard time with the amount of sarcasm and cynacism that has become pretty much a pre-requisite of folks of my generation, especially involving issues around spirituality. Yes I know, one could find something wrong with pretty much anything, but i think we need to try and find something to believe in, to be as positive and hopeful as possible, instead of turning everything into a struggle and falling into patterns of isolation and feeling defeated.

I am not the first person to say this, and this is pretty much what alixa and naima were getting at during the closing segment of Hurricane Season. All in all, this performance was satisfying in pretty much every single way. I am still blown away by the amount of energy, time and intention that was put into this show. Even though there was no cushioning or softening of the grim reality of the state of emergency that this world is in, I left feeling completely humbled, inspired and so fucking grateful to be able to participate in this event. Thank you! 

please check out www.climbingpoetree.com or www.hurricaneseasontour.com for more information. They are only about halfway through their tour and if their van makes it, they just might be performing soon in a city near you!

color talk

me and my purple mug

for over 2 years, i lived with two different people who had a strong aversion to the color purple. no, not the alice walker novel, but just the color, purple. during this time, i went out of my way to avoid bringing home items that were of a purple hue because i didn't want to offend anyone. 

I realized not soon after my second purple-hater housemate moved to San Francisco that i actually really like the color purple. for example, at this moment, i have some chamomile/oatstraw/skullcap tea steeping in a purple mug. I have had this mug since my freshman year of college. my mom bought it for me at cost plus world market in santa cruz, a day or two before she headed back to the midwest, leaving me to my own devices, armed with such essential items as a faux leatherman from target, many cans of soup and this very purple mug. i have dropped this mug at least once or twice, and it has survived. i like its texture (smooth) and its shape (oval).

Directly behind my purple tea mug is my purple Sigg water bottle. My friend Ayla once referred to it as my 'lesbian chalice'. I have had it for about a year now, and it has all sorts of dings, dents and paint scrapes on it. 

I also have a purple quilt on my bed. My mom made this quilt for me as a birthday present the year after I graduated from college. She is one of those people who claims she isn't that creative or crafty, and then busts out a handmade quilt.

I do not consider myself to be one of those people that has an obsession with a certain color or theme. But i wonder how often that stuff just happens on accident. you know, when you were little you really liked frogs and now, 20 years later, your family still gets you frog stuff for your birthday. that happened to my friend with hello kitty. 

I guess I did have a long term quasi-monogamous love affair with the color blue. we still see each other from time to time but we have definitely opened up our relationship. 

moving on to another color that people have strong feelings about, pink. my friend Naomi cut my hair yesterday and i decided i wanted a lil' added flair to it. luckily there was a container of manic panic hot hot pink hair dye that someone had left behind. pink is a color i have always appreciated, in small doses. i don't know if i have ever actually dyed my hair using manic panic before. i know that in high school i wanted to dye my hair blue, coincidentally right after my friend Sara dyed hers green, but it never happened.

 i did dye my hair dark red/magenta during the summer after my freshman year of high school.

i went up to Minnesota to visit my friend Erin. she said she would help me dye my hair. so we got stoned and mixed up the dye. she handed me the bowl, said 'here you go, have fun,' and walked over to the couch and turned on the television. i didn't really know what to say. i just went into the bathroom and did the best i could. my hair was still red for school pictures the following September.

ouch.

I woke up early this morning, around 6am. this is about the time i usually wake up on work days, sometimes snoozing until 6:30. As a lay in bed basking in the warmth of my thick comforter that i just put back on my bed, i had a sneaking suspicion that i was probably not going to get any work calls today. my brain started racing with all the glorious things i could do with this unexpected day off. writing was one of the first things on my list, yet here it is, 10 minutes to 11pm and i am sitting down to write for the first time all day..

what was i doing you ask? oh plenty of important things. i had a long conversation with my housemate. i uploading pictures onto my computer. i walked to the coffee shop down the street and ordered a single soy latte with extra milk. (i have been dabbling in coffee lately, risky business i know, but its fun to experiment). I went grocery shopping. I applied to work at New Seasons.

around noon i decided to go for a run. this seemed like a perfectly harmless idea. i had been on the computer for a couple hours and figured some fresh air and a little exercise would do me some good. About 5 blocks into my run, i fell. i fell hard. harder than i have in years. my foot caught on a piece of uneven pavement. i skipped and for a minute it almost felt like i could catch myself. and if i was walking i probably would have. but i was running. fast. i broke my fall with my left hip, elbow and both hands. i skidded on the cement. a couple folks working on the house i was running by oohed and ahhed. they asked me if i was okay. 

why is this what people ask when you hurt yourself? of course i wasn't really okay, i was in pain, confused and a little flustered. after i managed to pull myself up and assess my injuries, i just looked at the ground and said "that really hurt" and continued on my way. Of course about 2 steps beyond my captivated audience, i started to cry. i proceeded to cry for the entire duration of my run. due to my unexpected tumble, i did a lot more walking and crying than running, and even though it hurt, it felt good to cry.

i had a really intense therapy session yesterday. it almost felt like a personal training session. we were talking about my avoidance of pain and discomfort in my relationships. My therapist was encouraging me to push towards (and perhaps through) discomfort instead of skirting around it. She also pointed out the obvious disconnect between what was going on in my head and what was going on in my body. 

funny that the day after all that, this should happen. hurting yourself makes you pay attention to your body. and getting hurt, especially around other people, always makes me cry. and once i started crying, i felt like i couldn't stop. and while i was walking the 20 plus blocks home, i realized i haven't been crying that much lately. this is somewhat abnormal for me. 

this evening i attended QLiterati, a monthly open mic and reading at the QCenter. The event was free and totally awesome. There was snacks and raffle prices. People that asked to readers questions got homemade cookies. Ariel Gore read, amongst others. I met Frannie there. Afterwards, I walked her to the bus stop. The bus came before we could finish our conversation, and I noticed i had a lot to say,being that i was mostly alone all day. 

After frannie boarded her bus, i realized that my bike gloves were missing. not in my bag. not in my bike bucket. oh dear. I re-traced my steps to the QCenter. Being that I was tired and I hate losing things, I started to cry once again. As I approached the train tracks separating me from the QCenter, the lights started dinging and the gates came down. I spent the next 20 minutes, crying and waiting for the longest train ever to pass. Of course, by the time i got back to the QCenter, the lights were off and everyone had gone home. Its okay, i thought to myself, we'll just call them tomorrow (i often refer to myself as a we).

I made my way home, trying to stay positive, hopeful and grateful, even in the midst of a somewhat trying day. When i got home, I took off my bike helmet and hat, only to find my cute little gloves nestled inside. No wonder my helmet had felt so much tighter on the way home...

post-bday blog

I had all sorts of plans this evening. My first thought was to write a few thank you letters to a the lovely people that helped make my birthday weekend supercalifabulous... but i don't have any stamps. So I  added "get stamps" to my to-do list tomorrow and decided to move onto plan B. 

Plan B was to hem my new pants that my mom bought for me (at .. the gap ..). But I can't find my sewing kit. Drats, spoiled again.

So here I sit, stomach gurgling from second helping of delicious (yet spicy) birthday soup. No one else is home and I am appreciating the quiet after a jam-packed birthday weekend. (Did I mention it was my birthday on Thursday?)

I kicked off my birthday morning by meeting my dear friend Frannie at FuBonn, a huge Asian supermarket in SE Portland. Frannie showered me with sequins, glitter, and bubbles and brought a birthday crown for me to wear; leaving a colorful explosion on the wet asphalt next to my car. We spent over an hour somewhat aimlessly wandering the aisles of this mini-metropolis. Marveling at fancy packaging and food we had never seen before.

I had moments of crankiness, grocery stores (especially of the flourescently lit, overwhelming large, pop music playing variety) aren't really my element. Plus I was feeling a little under the weather. I reached my threshold and could make no more decisions and basically wanted to leave. Unfortunately this was while frannie was still in the walk down every single aisle and look at everything phase. I appreciated her wanderlust and also had to honor my own limits. Our main objective was to acquire ingredients for my birthday dinner. Which Frannie oh so kindly offered to host at her house.

I spent the remainder of the afternoon somewhat moping around, let's face it, i felt kind of weird. Not necessarily an "oh my god i'm getting old" weird (i turned 27, just so you know). Just a kind of birthdays are weird, weird. My mom flew in from southern california in the afternoon. Yes, I intentionally plotted a visit from mom on my birthday weekend. Some may find this strange, wanting to spend your birthday with a parental figure, but my mom is great and we are pretty close and i wanted her to be a part of the celebration.

After retrieving mi madre from the airport, we headed to the Kennedy School, an elementary school turned hotel, where we had a reservation. We were able to squeeze in a quick dip in their soaking pool before heading to frannie's to make dinner. The dinner menu included salad rolls with peanut sauce, edamame and tom yum soup. We had some elaborate dessert plans involving waffles, whipped cream and fresh strawberries, but dinner was so satisfying that we never even got to dessert (except for frannie and i did devour a good amount on a delicious yellow watermelon that daphna brought over). It was a somewhat small gathering, 9 people (including myself) were in attendance. 

Even though at one point i realized i was nearing exhaustion and most of my guests had yet to arrive, once everyone did arrive and i was able to step out of the kitchen and just enjoy the food and company, i felt really good about things. One of things I am working on is taking moments to be grateful and acknowledge all the wonderful people and things i have going on in my life, and my birthday party was just a reminder of all there is to be grateful for..

The following afternoon my mom and i headed to 4 Wands Farm, which is where is spent the majority of summer working as an apprentice. Our 48 hours there were filled with more delicious food, lots of rain, hanging out with animals, spontaneous poetry readings, piano playing, cider pressing, cheese making, etc. 

It's getting late and I am getting sleepy so this story will have to be elaborated on next time. I'll leave you in suspense, unless you were there, then you know what happened..